Open water swim in the ocean

“Yesterday I had my first panic attack in open water. I got to the beach later than I had intended (LA traffic!) and as I started swimming the sun was going down fast. It was pretty dark, I couldn’t see anything in the water and, though this is typically a crowded beach, I was literally the only person there. I started to think maybe everybody knew something I didn’t, and I had just watched a show that said sharks attack at dusk so as I swam along I was already a bit anxious. Then I turned my head to breathe and less than two feet from my face a giant bird swooped down and dive-bombed a fish that it pulled out of the ocean in its mouth. I. Lost. It. In that moment I could one hundred percent imagine ripping my wetsuit off. I realized that I had at some point swallowed a bunch of water, and I tried to keep swimming but couldn’t control my breathing at all. I got myself upright and was treading water and trying to self-talk myself into staying in the water until the panic subsided.”

“As I generally train at the beaches in Santa Monica, where visibility is poor, one of the most mentally challenging parts of this swim for me was the 15 foot or better visibility throughout the entire race. Not only could I clearly see the paddle board next to me, but I could also see whole kelp plants and giant schools of fish, both of which spooked me continually throughout the race.”