Take a class together (cooking, dance, art, etc.).

“As an eagerly aspiring dancer and an enthusiast for metaphors, I took him up on his offer for my husband and I to take private and group lessons at Flow Studios for a month. While I already had a sense that couples dancing could be beneficial for your relationship, I did not realize just how many parallels we would draw and how many lessons we would learn along the way. The feminist in me rejoiced when Michael swiftly broke down this traditional paradigm during our first lesson. My husband and I each took turns exploring the roles of leader and follower. As I led my husband across the dance floor, I quickly learned that this role is far more difficult than it appears, and was struck with a conviction. Despite my best intentions, I recognized how easily I become impatient and frustrated when I feel that my partner isn’t leading us as smoothly as I would like him to. This led to the insight that perhaps, just possibly, I might still have some work to do in the realm of extending patience, grace, and space for my partner to lead. We are not going to look like “Dancing with the Stars” by the end of the lesson, and that’s okay.”

“I’d bought him a cookbook for his birthday (Vegan with a Vengeance), and somehow, a few weeks later, we decided we should cook something from it together. He chose the recipe — Isa Pizza, which has *so* many components — and when I got off work for the day we went grocery shopping together. At this point I was already something of a seasoned-pro of a shopper and far more experienced in the kitchen than he, so I gently led him around the store, showing him how I liked to heft the garlic, smell the tomatoes. We spent the evening making dough and sauces and vegan cheeses, all the while sharing in conversation and music and laughter, and in the end we enjoyed the fruits of our labor together. I’m not saying we wouldn’t have eventually taken our relationship from friends to the next level without that evening, but I certainly credit it with moving things along more quickly. There’s a certain amount of trust that goes along with cooking with someone that turns it into such an intimate experience.”