Learn how to snowboard

“From the second I strapped both feet onto my board, I realized nothing in my previous board-sports experience had prepared me for this. I tried to stand up and promptly fell back onto my ass for what would be the first of many times that morning. My second attempt had me fall over onto my hands and knees, my ass wiggling in the air as I tried to tip myself back up and onto my feet. We were at the top of a low rise leading down to the bunny slope chairlift. Finally getting my feet under me I began the rocking snowboard shuffle to tip myself over the edge. Slowly, gravity took over until all of a sudden I was sliding and then whump, I was back on my ass in the snow again. It took fifteen minutes before I had teeteringly made it the 50 or so yards to the bunny slope chairlift. A few runs later I had grasped a couple basic concepts. I could slide my way down the hill on my heelside, but had yet to really figure out how to move diagonally down the slope in the direction that I wanted. Toeside was a horrifying, unbalanced realm where couldn’t see what was in front of me. I wanted nothing to do with it.”

“Once he bought the lift tickets, I waddled my way over to the chairlift. If you’ve never snowboarded before, beware: one foot is always attached to the board in a sideways position. It is rather uncomfortable if you’re not used to walking with one foot attached to a long, slippery wooden board. I managed to make my way to the bottom of the bunny slope where he got in line to go on the chairlift. “You’re not going to tell me how to snowboard first?!” I exclaimed furiously. He stopped the chair so I could practice getting on, as normally they’re constantly moving and it takes skill to be able to sit down in a fluid motion. “Point your hand backwards and grab the back of the chair,” he said. Fortunately, he radioed up to the worker at the top of the lift, and she stopped the chair and taught me how to get off safely. Just as I expected, I fell getting off the lift for the first time, but after that I managed to slide my way along for a few feet and stop abruptly before I fell. Waddling my way to the top of the bunny slope, I sat down on the snow, forced my other foot into the bindings, and attempted to slowly make my way down the mountain sideways. I focused on the feeling of the board beneath my feet, how to slow myself down, and how to fall effectively so I wouldn’t hurt myself. It was tough, to say the least, and I got very frustrated, but after three times down the mountain I definitely was getting the hang of it.”